You're Just As Sane As I Am.

Clark Kent isn't always Superman.

you know its funny in a way, sad in another. Just because superman is amazing doesn’t mean that when he’s Clark Kent he fulfills his job.

When you try, youre the best you can be. When you think that you can get by and be accepted even though you didn’t really try, i notice. You can be the best person i’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, and the worst. It’s an awful feeling to hate you and want you all at the same time. i dont even know what to do anymore.

& i guess it ends here.

With three simple words you thought i’d come back.

You knew that it was all it used to take. saying ‘i love you’ was your ‘get out of jail free card’. But not anymore. I’ve been too screwed over. too used. too angry to ever fall for it. No, i don’t forgive you baby, i don’t care how sorry you are honey, and yes i know you fucked up babe. Honestly, i don’t really care. i don’t care what you thought you could do to get me back, it wont work. Don’t mess with me anymore. I’ve got a new policy: Fight fire with fire. And oh you deserve a whole freaking forest fire. So no hun, it’s over, i wont ever be coming back.

& the following might come as a shock.

I’m not perfect. Nor am i anything near it. But of course she is. Of course she is the closest to perfect that anyone could ever get. Although she messes up more than me, is less focused on whats important, and has no where near as many achievements. She wont go as far as i will. Her dreams won’t be achieved, mine will. & yet, she is the perfect one in the eyes of the two critics in my life.

I will achieve my wildest dreams and more in spite of how I’ve grown up. I will get more than anyone would ever expect, because they don’t expect it. I will be what they know i wont be. I will be happier than anyone could imagine. & my life willl be a complete success (:

So there!

Hiding.

I guess it’s just that i was hiding behind it. Since everything was falling apart i figured when he got back, it would all get better. I guess i thought that things would just idk be different. But i had forgotten the amount of time we spent fighting. I had forgotten how often i cried over him. I had forgotten how awful it truly was talking to him. So now i’m left wondering. What is it that i can hide behind. Or if i dont hide, how do i solve all this? How can i fix it all?

You have to wonder, When was the transition? The transition from little kid or teenager who is just completely happy, to the teenager or adult who cant even remember when there simply were no problems. And is there a way to go back there? is there a way to solve everything? Get rid of all the stress, all the drama, all the whiny people that we deal with constantly. Is it possible to fix these things that we live with on a daily basis? and how?

Mr. Right now.

I dont understand why it’s called “falling in love”. This feels so much like floating. The constant butterflies, the never fading smile, the excitement of seeing him. It’s all to special to be considered ‘falling’. I feel breathless everytime i think about him. I get lost in his eyes every second i’m with him. Ahh… Great feeling. I love it.

Mother contract.

There must be like a contract you sign when you Become a mother.

” I, BlahBlahBlah, promise to not only annoy the ever loving shit out of my child, but also swear to be a whiny bitch at all times.”

Yep, hope they give me that contract when i decide to shove an ungrateful baby out of my Cooch. (:

Fuck.

It’s interesting how she manages to screw everything up. Everytime she wants something, she finds a way to kill it.